“Be Obedient.”

On the power dynamics of the student-teacher relationship

Here’s where I am coming from-

Teacher-student relationships in my life have always been murky waters for me.
And I mean it in the most humanly possible and beautiful way.
Some teachers became my close friends. Some student-friends who co-taught in study groups, became my colleagues. My mother was my class teacher in school for a while. My university teacher became my boss and role model. My high-school chemistry teacher became my life coach. And my high school physics teacher (and a few others) became the embodiment of “I don’t want to become anything like them or have anything to do with them EVER! ”.

I’ve addressed my teachers as “Miss…”, “…Sir…”, “Madam…”, “Dr…” , by their first names…, and “Amma”.

Suffice to say, I have learnt to never be formulaic in the way I ‘be the student’ or ‘see the teacher’ in the relationship*
In other words, I will automatically assume that both the teacher and I are individuals with different powers in the same universe and that both of us are on a journey of learning and discovery.

Here’s the problem-

But, there is one thing I quite haven’t managed to wrap my head around yet.
I don’t exactly know how to respond to teachers who overtly assert and remind me of their expertise and experience in tricky conversations (while I am the student).
I find that the minute a teacher pulls out their “I am the expert” or “I have experience” card, they’ve have lost me as an active collaborator or as an engaged participant forever.

And then,
the teacher, will become the sage on the stage. And I, the student, will become the paralysed head-nodding disciple.

Let me clarify on what I mean.

The “Be Obedient” scene might look something like this-

• In a conversation with student about their assessment marks and feedback, a Teacher might say - “So what are you going to do next with the feedback I gave you. You are the student after all”.

Assessment conversations can be an especially vulnerable place for students. But there are other areas such as-

• conversations about the relevance of the content for the student(s), or

• what the subject might do for the engaged student, or

• conversations about teaching quality

• conversations about the subjects

All of these are very tricky and heavy conversations that truly need openness, curiosity and generosity.

And I don’t why.. but somehow we arrive at these conversations feeling the need to tighten our stand. We dig our heels in. We are more stubborn than ever.
Somehow, we think it to be natural to arrive at these conversations prepared to defend ourselves.

I don’t know how this looks for the teacher but the aftermath for the student is-
I, the student either retracts into my turtle shell and/or become a pufferfish and silently float away into oblivion…i.e. I, the student will ghost you.

If the university really is the “great foci for free and manly enquiry”, teachers and students really need to think long and hard together about how they may be unconsciously acting out their parts in the “Be Obedient” scene….

—>Teachers, because-
the “I have experience” card is the ultimate trump card to put students in their place
And how students in general and myself respond to that is - we tend to be obedient and go back to our place and I don’t think you want this.
(Maybe there is a place in the university for the “I am the expert” card….but what place is it? )

—>Students, because-
by being obedient, we giving the responsibility of our education to someone else.
And we know, at the end of the day, that doesn’t benefit anybody.

“University ….the great foci for free and manly enquiry”- John Stuart Mill

*I probably am the exception in thinking this way.